Well I has taken me a while to get to a place where I can talk about what has happened. Well you all know that me and JJ have to do invitro to help our family grow, so last Aug. we went down that very time consuming, expensive, and exciting journey. We found out that we were expecting and due in may. We were so excited and couldn't wait. We then found out that we were having twins and then found out that we lost one at 6 weeks. Well I had started having blood pressure problems at about 10 weeks and I was just keeping a close eye on it. Well at about 16 weeks I got strep, and my BP got really high, so they put me on BP meds. So on Monday before thanksgiving me and my friend took kashlee to the dr in mesa for the day. I woke up that morn. With a headache and my BP high. I went anyways to mesa since we only see these dr's once a year. Well we got home and I was so wiped out. I woke up at about 2:30 in the morning and could tell something wasn't right with me. My BP was 200/120! Me and JJ got in the car and headed to the hospital. After about 7 hours of not being able to get things under control because I was having preeclampsia they said that I would have to have the baby, and that they where sending me to Tucson, because in safford they couldn't take care of me. I had developed a conditon called !
Hellp syndrome that is where your liver, kidneys, and platelets go crazy and start shutting down. They said that if I had waited any longer I wouldn't have made it. So they put me on a helicopter and flew me to Tucson to TMC. The dr's were wonderful. I had the baby on Tuesday night, We had a little boy, who we named Logan Lee Alder, he weighed 3.5 oz, and was 6.5 inches. We stayed there for 4 days and then we got to go home. I still was having problems with my BP. We have seen the dr's and they say that they are not sure why this happened or if it will happen again.
So that make us nervous and unsure about our future. I am still on BP meds. I have my good days and my bad ones. Things are getting easier. We are tying to get back to normal, or what ever that is. Justin had a hard time and kashlee is just too little to understand what happened. The nurses made foot prints of his little feet and so I put them in a picture frame with his name to remember him by. But we are grateful for what we understand, about the Plan of Salvation and our saviors plan for us. This has brought our family closer and put our life into perspective and whats important. I am truly blessed, And know that I am loved. Thank you everybody for your love and support. We love you
12 comments:
Marlo,
Seeing your little guy's footprints brings tears to my eyes. I haven't been able to open my "memory box" that has our babies footprints in it. I was just talking to a friend yesterday about my blog. I can't figure out where to start again. I don't want to ignore what happened, yet I don't know if I am quite ready to write about it yet. I am following you and your example, so thank you! I remember the night that your mom told your story, I was pregnant and due near you (May 27th)...I couldn't imagine what you went through. That same week I ran into Maddie at the school and talked to her about it and asked how you were doing. Only 2 weeks later I found myself in a similar situation to yours and remembered your mom's talk on The Plan of Salvation...We are SO lucky! It has carried me through this process. Like you, we also had a baby boy...I was 18 weeks pregnant. You and JJ are amazing and such an example to so many. You are a wonderful mother and your kid's are adorable. I have been on your same side, but writing this to you from the opposite side I know that there isn't anything I can say to you except I am sorry for your loss and admire you and the way you have handled it. I would love to talk with you sometime...my email is msweaverfamily@yahoo.com. Hope you are hanging in there, I think about you often!
Love,
Stephanie
I can only imagine what you are going through. We love you so much and are so glad you are recovering!!
We love you and wish there was something we could do to make things easier. You are in our prayers!
I'm so sorry this had to happen to you-you've had to work so hard to get your family here. Thank heavens for sweet and thoughtful nurses who preserved that precious footprint for you to keep always! Sending much love your way! Hang in there and I hope you are feeling lots better.
We've been thinking about you. Sure love you and your family. Sorry for your loss, it is so very sad. WE pray for your full recovery--sending hugs and kisses!
Marlo, I love you! I cry everytime I think of all you are going through! We have shared some fun times and I miss you! Your cute family are in my prayers. I am so grateful we have the gospel and family close by!
(((hugs))) Marlo I have thought so much about you and all you have been through. I've only experienced it from the medical side and my heart is so full for you. I love Logan's sweet little footprints. Know you are loved and prayed for.
Marlo, I know what it feels like to try so hard to bring a child here,and then to lose them. It helps knowing that we will see them again, but that sense of loss is still there. The pain does get better. Or should I say it is still there, but changed somehow. I don't know how to describe it. Now it is more of a longing to see him and know what he is like. It helps to know that I will have a chance to do that.
Even though most of our kids weren't around when he was born, they all know about Jeremiah. We visit his grave on holidays and I have a shadow box on the wall with memoriabilla from him. It has helped us talk about heaven and the life after this.
I guess I just want to say that I understand the mixture of emotions that you have at a time like this. Because of this, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
It's so weird to me in reading the first post on here and seeing that we were all due in May and we all had boys! What does the Lord have up his sleeve??? When my mom told me how our boys were pretty much the same exact size I was amazed! Evan was 3.4 oz, 6 inches. Logan's feet look way bigger than Evan's were though. My drs didn't really know when Evan died they tried telling me he was 16 weeks but my last appointment I had we listened to his heartbeat, and I was 18 weeks then. But I am going to guess that he was really 17 weeks and my drs had my due date off by a week! But they said he must have passed shortly after that visit so I carried him for 3 weeks not knowing.
It's hard not to ask why this all happened and wonder if it will happen again. I try not to, but i'm not perfect by any means!
I have a lady named Jody on my friends list on my blog, she lost a baby in 2008 and started a ministry to remember her son by, but I have been reading her personal blog and it's really helped me. Everything she has written is how I have felt. You have to go back quite a bit on her blog to read the early days of her loss. They have recently decided to adopt a child because they too suffer from infertility. She is an awesome lady though!!!
Marlo-I am so so sorry! I don't know what that feels like-but I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you! Tia
I love you, Marlo! You are such a strong woman and an example to me. I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm praying for you.
Marlo, I had no Idea. I am so sorry. I wish I could give you a big hug!
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